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Saturday, October 07, 2000
There is nothing better for me to see than the reunion of my three children. Hearing the constant chatter and sibling laughter is music to my ears.
10/7/2000 03:13:38 PM |
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Thursday, October 05, 2000
Isaiah 40:31
For Kaycee, her favorite scripture.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
There comes a time to rest and regain strength.
10/5/2000 09:30:00 PM |
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Wednesday, October 04, 2000
Make Us Laugh
Kaycee and I needed a pick-me-up today. I can always count on the great folks at WonderMill for great topics. This one was so funny, Kaycee and I laughed until we nearly cried.
If you need a chuckle have a look at Want to find out what your new name is?
Laughter is good medicine.
10/4/2000 04:14:19 PM |
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Tuesday, October 03, 2000
Memories Of Tomorrow
Tomorrow we celebrate the life of a wonderful woman. It will be a difficult day in some ways. Kaycee has already expressed some thoughts on her Grandmother. We lost her 5 years ago in her gallant fight against breast cancer. The love we have for her is still strong.
As the evening has worn on I have seen Kaycee retreat into reflective meditation. I view her struggle with thoughts I can only imagine are running through her mind. I want to reach over and brush her tears aside but she is finding her own peace. Kaycee wrote this a short time ago.
When Angels Cry
Angels are not suppose to cry, yet I see the tear within her eye
Slipping down, it finds it's way, into the sunlight's warming ray.
It bursts into a brilliant rainbow, that touches earth with a majestic glow.
It delivers hope and strength to all, as another tear drop begins to fall.
Yes, Angels cry, and feel the pain, our grieving heart is not in vain.
She gazes down with a smile to embrace, and holds me tight, all pain erased.
Another tear slides gently down, like a raindrop splashing to the ground.
When Angels cry God holds them too, just like He does if it's me or you.
There is a promise in every tear, it tells us someone is always near,
The wonder of it's grace, bestows, but because of love it overflows.
Into our silken heart it weaves, the joy of all eternity.
When Angels cry the tears are gold, precious, priceless memories of ole.
Kaycee Nicole 2000
10/3/2000 11:30:31 PM |
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Monday, October 02, 2000
Old And Tired
We like to conceive we have our life under control. About the time we convince ourselves everything is alright we notice another knot in the rope. Thus is life. Or is it? I have tried to teach my children by example. I did not want them to endure the hardships I had growing up. I learned I could only protect them from so much. I am feeling very old and tired.
It has nothing to do with being a mother. My children have brought me joy. I thank God for every precious second spent loving and nurturing them. I question if it is enough. I can not seem to shelter anyone from the affairs of the heart, myself included. I am standing on shaky ground. I search for answers. They are visible, yet confusing at best.
I am a plain country girl. I have more sense than knowledge. I tried to teach my children there is good in everyone. I am wondering where the goodness in my husband went? I am wondering why he has more compassion for his work and co-workers than his own children and wife. I am wondering how he became so lost and blind to the glory before him. I am wondering how much longer I can cater to his selfishness.
Yet, as I feel these things I have guilt. I recall the vows I repeated over twenty years ago. I have done everything asked of me. I ask the question, the same questions my daughter guards cautiously in her heart, "When will the man we once knew return? Will he? How long must we hold on? How long can we allow him to tear us down?" How do I uphold respect in my childrens' young eyes for their father when I am losing the respect for him myself.
I am depleted from making excuses for my husband. The words seem hallow and unmeaningful. I can not do it any longer.
10/2/2000 08:54:21 AM |
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