Saturday, February 03, 2001
Lean On Me
Sometimes, in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrow
But, if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For, it won't be long
Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs that you won't let show
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For, it won't be long
Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load
You have to bear, that you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load if you just call me
Call me if you need a friend
Call me ...
Here's the Club Nouveau version of Lean On Me
All I ask is you smile for me.
2/3/2001 11:21:40 AM |
° i am the warrior °
As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
~ Andre Norton
I have to hang on.
The days are slipping by one after another in a foggy haze of unawareness. When I'm asleep I wonder where my thoughts have been. When I'm awake I don't want to waste the precious minutes so I think of those I love. I think about everything I want to do. I push aside the pain and pretend this is just another intense basketball game that's gone into overtime.
Breath. Breath. Breath. As I run up and down the court every ounce of my strength is needed to overcome the opponent. I pass the ball to my teammate, it's not just what I can do, it's what we can all do together. I'm getting ready for the rebound.
Sometimes you only get one shot, so make it count. And if you miss, you better be ready to rebound.
~ Kaycee Nicole
2/3/2001 10:16:17 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Friday, February 02, 2001
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!"
~ Dave Barry
Excuse Me, But You Have Doggie Breath
When my little sister was about three years old she wandered into my room one night. She pried my eyes open and said, "Yaycee you wake?" I sort of mumbled something that might've been yes, then asked her what was wrong. She climbed up on the bed next to me, and as she was squirming her way under the covers she announced matter-of-factly, "Yaycee scared I come make you better."
She stuffed her teddy bear between us and pulled my arm over both. She had her own room but I really didn't mind her hijacking my bed. From that night on she became my slumber buddy.
A few years later when my brother was old enough Chella was moved into the bedroom with me.
I guess after awhile he felt left out. I don't remember exactly when it happened but pretty soon every morning when I woke up my little brother would be sprawled out on the bed somewhere. Sometimes across the foot, sometimes squished between Me, Chella and her bear, sometimes even laying half across me. It always made me laugh first thing in the morning because he was just so kute.
We started calling him BB cuz he was small and rolled around a lot.(Well technically we called him BButt til Mom put an end to that. Haha)
A few years later mom got my brother a dog. Guess she thought it'd help him not wander around at night and keep him from feeling so alone in his room. My brother named her Heidi-Ho.
She was a silver and black German Shephard, really gorgeous and full of energy. She was smart and playful and just fit in the family. She loved any kind of ball, and we had tons of them around. If I was shooting and my basketball rolled away, Heidi would chase it down and push it back to me using her paws and nose.
If a stranger walked into the yard she'd circle them and bark pretty much keeping them where they were until one of us called her to heel. We didn't have a fenced in yard but Heidi never left our property unless we told her to come.
Usually Heidi slept at the foot of my brother's bed. One night my brother stayed at a friend's house. We all went to bed like usual, I assume Heidi headed into my brother's room to sleep. Sometime in the night I sort of woke up - not all the way awake, just half. I heard this loud snoring next to me, and I felt something pushing on my back. I nudged it with my elbow thinking it was my sister. I said, "Scoot over." Then I went back to sleep.
In the morning I rolled over and I heard loud snoring again. I remember laughing because I was going to tease Chella about how noisy she'd been. I opened my eyes and realized it was Heidi right in my face. Her head was on the pillow just like she owned a part of the bed. Suddenly her eyes popped open. The next thing I knew she opened her mouth, let out a breath (ack!) and started licking me.
When I sat up and wiped my mouth Heidi gave me a look like, "What? I don't get a morning kiss too? Wasn't it good for you?"
I said, "Heidi you have major doggie breath. Now go find your toothbrush." And she gave me that look... "My gosh, you're RIGHT."
2/2/2001 11:18:40 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Thursday, February 01, 2001
The Warrior Weeps
I close my eyes and seek His face
How much longer can I wait?
When is too long, how much is enough?
Don't test me any longer, I'm not that tough.
All this weariness can be lifted from me
How much longer before it will be?
What is the purpose, when will I know?
Next week, or next month, I could let go.
Inside the turmoil is hidden away
How much longer before it's a new day?
Why am I here, what can I do?
I close my eyes waiting for you.
I want to cross over this jagged rough mountain
Put the darkness behind me and drink from life's fountain.
How many more sunsets, how many more dawns?
A few more tears glisten like dew on the lawn.
Can a warrior ever give up the fight?
Standing alone at the entrance of night
Waiting and watching, with a spirit so strong
Wounded from battle the hours stretch long.
How much longer before the vision is clear?
The light is so bright I know you are near.
I can fall at your feet, in a broken heap
Strong arms cradle me, as the warrior weeps.
~ Kaycee Nicole 2001
2/1/2001 10:17:10 PM |
° i am the warrior °
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
A Unique Treasure
Someone sent me this picture of a sunset just south of Santa Cruz Ca. (Thank you. And yes it has been awhile since I've seen a sunset.) Especially a sunset as near perfect as the one captured here.
Several of my friends have this habit of setting themselves up for disappointments. They continually search for things like the perfect mate, the perfect life, the perfect look, the perfect job, the perfect love.
There's really no such thing as perfection; everything can be improved in some way. If we have our mind set on too many specifics don't we take a chance of passing over something that is beautiful rather than perfect?
We live in a world where others try to convince us what is best for us. We emphasize the perfection of the wrappings and forget to examine the entire package inside and out.
If I placed two books on a desk - one shiny, colorful and new, the other dusty and weathered with age - which one would get picked up more? The new one. But what if within that pretty package there was nothing but words filled with nonsense? We'd be disappointed. Would you put the book down and walk away in a hurry to find another book that looked the same? Or before going off on a new exploration would you curiously pick up the dust covered book and give it a chance? And if you did, would you be surprised to find a wonderful literary composition hidden among the weathered pages?
I was talking to my uncle one day about dating. He's a bachelor in his forties still looking for the right woman. So I asked him what he was looking for in this person. I guess I was a little surprised to hear his description of what he wanted. He listed hair color, eye color, height, weight, then moved on to job specifications. When he finished I asked him if he'd ever come close to what he seemed to be searching for. Of course he hadn't, he hadn't given anyone a chance to break the image he'd set in his mind. He'd passed over buried treasures seeking the visible pot of gold.
I hope I never close myself off to all the potential possibilities I come in contact with. I'd rather be unique in my own way, a one of a kind.
2/1/2001 07:53:35 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Wednesday, January 31, 2001
Playground In My Mind
Hear the sleet slashing against the window pane,
Pelting little beads of crystal frozen rain.
Thick, heavy clouds swirl in dismay,
It's just Old Man Winter having his way.
I long for the days of Springtime in June,
Nights of pure warmth with a white glowing moon.
To dance with the stars and their glittery tails,
Swing from the rings around Saturn's silent veil.
Who holds the key to unlock all the magic,
To hide it away seems poetically tragic.
I want to fill your pockets with promising rainbows,
Share with you the splendor that everyone holds.
Even in this prison of torment and pain,
I hear the sweet whisper of the music's refrain.
Over and over it calls out to me...
Come out and play... it's time to be free.
~Kaycee Nicole 2001
1/31/2001 10:39:01 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Not what we give, but what we share,
For the gift without the giver is bare.
~ James Russell Lowell
Ships Passing In The Night
Sometimes we meet people for a brief time in our life.
In that brief space in time they touch us in a lasting way. We can think back and remember their carefree smile. We can conjure up their face from the photo book of our memory. We can recall how their eyes sparkled like light reflecting off precious jewels. This candid snapshot sometimes has to last us beyond today, past tomorrow, much further into the future.
A friend of mine e-mailed me earlier this week about the tragic plane crash carrying some OSU basketball players and staff.
I've been so tired lately I hadn't caught much of the news on it. There were two people on that plane that I'd met before. One of them was a sportscaster at a station in Oklahoma City, Bill Teegins. I was familiar with him like everyone else who lived in Oklahoma and tuned into the nightly news.
I met him twice at the State Basketball Tournament in Oklahoma City, and then a third time at a sports banquet. His smile and humor seemed to light up a room. His voice was soothing and calming. And he loved the game of basketball. He was someone I admired because he enjoyed his job and was perfectly suited for it.
I was introduced to Brian Luinstra while he was a trainer at WSU. While taking chemo I attended part-time college classes and tried to figure out how to prepare for basketball season, or even if I could.
One of my college professors mentioned I should talk to some of the trainers. I guess I lucked out because it was Brian who I got the opportunity to meet. He was the kewlest, kindest, caring guy. I learned a lot from him in the few months that I knew him.
When he accepted the job at OSU he used to tease me and try to recruit me to play college ball at Oklahoma State University. Brian instilled a hope in me that when basketball time rolled around I'd be ready to give it all I had. He was an awesome person.
In memory of those who departed into the wonderous eternal life... I /salute you. Mr. Teegins and Brian, I'll never forget the sunshine you brought into my life. The torch will forever burn bright.
1/31/2001 08:43:31 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Tuesday, January 30, 2001
Special Gift
My mom is just the kewlest. She does so much for me and just keeps giving. I don't know what I'd do without her.
I love her because she's always trying to lift my spirits. She's been my nurse forever. She's been my #1 fan, cheerleader, and coach in life. And she's my best friend.
She gave me a little gift today. She took a song titled Love Grows Where My RoseMary Goes and changed some of the words. Then she printed it on a piece of Sunflower paper and framed it. It's totally kewl.
Love Grows Where My Kaycee Goes
She's got her own money
Her clothes are kinda funny
And her hair is kinda wild and free
Oh but love grows where my Kaycee goes
And nobody knows like me
She never acts a bit lazy
And people say she's KCrazy
And her life's a mystery
Oh but love grows where my Kaycee goes
And nobody knows like me
There's something about her hand holdin' mine
It's a feeling that's fine
And I just gotta say
She's really got a magical spell
And it's workin' so well
That I can't get away
All the lucky fellas but I always tell her
That I love her endlessly
Because love grows where my Kaycee goes
And nobody knows like me
1/30/2001 01:14:27 PM |
° i am the warrior °
How Do You Measure Success?
I think this quote may say it best. (Thanks Ben)
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others: To leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a redeemed social condition, or a job well done; To know that even one other life has breathed because you lived. -- This is to have succeeded.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't normally share my mail here, but this is an awesome gesture of love. I'm leaving out the person's name because they know who they are. And I had to leave out a little of the personal parts but it doesn't take away from the meaning.
I'd say this was an awesome example of How to measure Success:
Kaycee,
This is to acknowledge receipt of the money (for a special purpose). Since you are being so inflexible, stubborn, hard headed... (well, yeah the list goes on)... about our (deal), here's what I'm going to do with the money. As the Godfather, Don Corleone, would say, "I'm going to make you an offer that you cannot refuse".
It seems that the amount is pretty close to half of the donation requested to cover the lab tests for tissue typing at the local donor center for the National Marrow Donor Program. I mailed them the paperwork last week and am headed down to (large well-known hospital) early this morning to have some blood drawn.
I don't know if I will ever be blessed enough to match and donate for someone but if I do, I'll keep the sore butt all to myself but I will insist on splitting the good feelings with you on a 50-50 basis. I told you I'd find a way for us both to come out winners.
So... partners?
love ya,
xxxx (signed by very awesome person who I love a lot)
My response was:
Hey xxxx (very awesome person who I love a lot)
/pounce pounce
I accept the partnership... you're totally awesome. But I knew that.
Guess you'll be a pain in the butt for awhile *mg* Want me to kiss your boo-boo? j/k /hug hug
sending you love and sunshine,
kaycee ;-)
p.s. Tell'em you want a Tigger band-aid. /wink wink. You rock.
1/30/2001 08:22:00 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Monday, January 29, 2001
You, Me And A Drummer Makes Three
Randy and I were talking about drumming this morning. It's just another common link we share.
He's a tall blonde drummer and so am I. Too kewl. We got a little silly and started throwing drummer lines at each other. Another reason why I love him. He makes me laugh and smile all the time.
Here's our Drummer list:
- Drummers stick together.
- Drummers stick with it.
- Drummers pound harder and faster.
- You can't beat a drummer.
- Drummers do it in synch.
- Drummers do it in time.
- For a good time, call a drummer.
- Drummers let it all out.
- Drummers always have the right time.
- Drummers are never late.
- These ain't chopsticks, baby.
- How to pick up a drummer: Your kit or mine?
- Drummers are good lovers, we can move all 4 limbs at once.
- Drummers know how to twirl.
- Drummers rock.
- Drummers are good with wood.
- See my stick? I have a spare.
- Drummers know how to use their hands.
- Snare a drummer.
- Drummers march to their own beat.
- Drummers use both hands.
- Drummers are hard to keep up with.
And if a drummer doesn't like you, he'll tell you: "Beat it!"
1/29/2001 12:48:31 PM |
° i am the warrior °
Changing Moods
If you haven't checked out Hotbar.com then you need to check it out.
They've got some of the kewlest browser skins. I love it because I can change it with my moods, and the pics are awesome. I'm a purplish pink Cactus today. Go have a look.
1/29/2001 11:39:13 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Oops, I Did it Again
Ok, ok I lost the bet. It wasn't bad enough that I had to sing a Britney song for mom and the nurses. Grrrrr... they invited a few residents. I had to protest. I mean come on, my claim to fame was on the line here. Believe me, the ticket prices were dirt cheap. Gee, I wonder why.
I thought I should've turned around my PJ top, hiked it up and tied it, yeah right there, and then stepped into the shower so my bottoms stuck to me. Haha. I really wanted to sing Uncle Kracker's Follow Me but I toughed it out and am Stronger for my efforts. Ohhhhhh... the pain. /wink wink
1/29/2001 10:14:21 AM |
° i am the warrior °
Sunday, January 28, 2001
Halftime Report
Hmmm. Well the Giants are down 10 - 0. Woo-hoo but they're gonna make the second half rock n' roll. Grrrrr... Mom's got to shoot off her pink and blue silly string. *sniff* I'm ready with my purple and green. It'll happen.
Mom and I both agree on one thing: AeroSmith rocks it baby. /wink wink.
Now lemme think of what kind of ice cream I want.
1/28/2001 07:27:24 PM |
° i am the warrior °
GO GIANTS!!
All I can say is I hope they win... I've got a bet riding on them. /wink wink
You can go to Mom's page to get the details. I'm gonna be cheering really loud. I admit it... I wanna win!! Haha!
1/28/2001 12:34:59 PM |
° i am the warrior °
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