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Saturday, March 17, 2001Happy St. Patrick's Day
I'm ShamroKC O'Kaycee for the day. My Irish is lacking. But my *Irish* eyes are always green and dancing.
Old Irish toast:
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
3/17/2001 08.33.30 | ° i am the warrior °
Friday, March 16, 2001If There's No Tomorrow
That title sounds sort of morbid but it's not meant to be. Actually I mean it in the best way possible.
I think people who've experienced traumatic things can probably understand it the best. Lately, I just can't seem to express just how awesome everything is to me. I don't know if I'll ever lose that feeling. The one where we take everything for granted.
My whole life's been surrounded by this feeling of grasping things over my head. I don't know why. Sometimes I didn't see the meaning. Somethings I still don't. But I felt it, deep down inside of me I felt all the intensity.
And I'm not sure what I'm meant to do with it. Seems kind of lame to say: take it and run. I've always wanted to apply it to how I live.
I see the importance of all these little things. They just keep filling me with more of a desire to search past the obvious and find the dust covered treasure.
To pessimists I sound corny and star-struck. I'm not that way at all. I'm a realist. I know the world is filled with a lot of terrible things. I recognise it, but I have the will and desire to try to make it better. A lot of other people have the same ideals. They do their part to fight against the pain and hurtfulness that others think nothing about creating.
There were a lot of times I thought, "If there's no tomorrow for me I'd be happy with everything I'd been given."
My life has left me feeling Breathless (MP3 - Breathless by The Corrs)
That's a pretty awesome feeling, and it always will be for me. I can't hide it... can't fight it.
3/16/2001 11.36.36 | ° i am the warrior °
Thursday, March 15, 2001Buckle Up... Please
I don't usually ask too much but I'm going to ask each of you to encourge others to do this: Buckle up, please. Tell your loved ones to *Simply Click* and set an example by doing it too.
Maybe it can't save every life but it'll help more times than it won't. We try to protect what we love don't we? If that's true than why don't we want to use a seatbelt when we get into a car?
I'm really saddened today. My heart reaches out to a good friend of mine who's grieving the loss of her youngest brother, to her parents who've lost their son, to the group of friends who've lost a bright star.
They were just going across town. Not very far. They were running a little behind. It would've only taken a second to have buckled the seatbelt, but they didn't.
The weather was nice, the sun was shining. No one was speeding. A car pulled out in front of them. A terrible miscalculation. Theresa's brother was ejected from the car, and it rolled over him.
It left a family devastated. He was only 8 years old.
Please... please use your seatbelts. Teach your kids to use them, your parents, and your friends. Don't even take the chance... it's important.
3/15/2001 11.08.16 | ° i am the warrior °
If spring came but once in a century instead of once a year, or burst forth with the sound of an earthquake and not in silence, what wonder and expectation there would be in all hearts, to behold the miraculous change.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow I Held The Rain
Yesterday I held the rain in my hand. The droplets splashed and played then pooled together as one liquid mass in my palm. I released them. They slide off my fingertips and disappreared into the moist soil.
On the sidewalk a small puddle had formed. One by one the raindrops gently fell. The ones that hit the puddle caused a perfect circular ripple. I watched as it fluttered outward. Another then another, then another. It was like nature dancing before me in its unique and raw form.
We look at it, we accept it, we leave it as it is without trying to change it because we know we can't. We see the beauty of it - explicit and pure.
I hadn't felt the rain touch my skin since August. Why would it be any different than taking a shower? Water is water, right? No, it wasn't the same for me. The sounds are different. The scent is different. The purpose is different.
Today it's gray, windy and still raining. But I noticed something had changed. Yesterday the colors of winter were everywhere - dull browns, faded orange, spotted yellows, and muted reds. Almost overnight nature transformed from a dormant oat colored carpet into fresh green blades of grass. The birds are singing and playing tag with each other.
Nature's dancing to a faster tempo. Life is good.
3/15/2001 09.16.05 | ° i am the warrior °
Wednesday, March 14, 2001Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
~ Lewis Grizzard You Stepped In Wha??
I bet you thought my mom pampered me. Well, let me tell ya - yes, no, maybe. She's a mean one, Mrs. Grinch.
I'm kidding. I like to think she keeps me balanced.
Like this morning, she stuck her head in my room to tell me she was going to work for awhile. Then she said, "Kayyyyyceeee" - her eyebrow went up and she gave me that look. You know, the look. "You need to clean your room young lady." Ok Mom, no problem. I will. She picked up my sweatshirt and threw it at me. It landed on my head. Her aim is really bad.
After she left I got up and cleaned my room. I decided to throw in some laundry. The thing was, the washer and dryer were different from home. These were little. And stacked on top of each other. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing I justshoved some clothes in, tossed in some soap and hit the button.
I started to walk away but the soft *thunk, thunk* made me turn back to see what the deal was. Ack! Sheesh. I'd thrown the clothes in the dryer, not the washer. I was pretty embarrassed, not to mention knowing I needed to get the soap out of there. Lucky for me it was liquid detergaet and the clothes absorbed it.
Once I got all that figured out I decided to do some cleaning. I dusted. I washed the dishes. Then I got the sweeper out. Again it was different than the one at home, it took me awhile to find the *on* switch. I started dancing that baby across the floor but about 30 seconds latter I was swatting at a cloud of dust.
D'oh! The sweeper didn't have a bag in it. Guess I know why mom hadn't used it since I got here. Ok, so I had to re-dust. I'm beginning to think I better marry a guy who knows these things already. Either that or he really better like to laugh.
I was always better at mowing grass and raking leaves. Hmm... maybe Mom knew something I didn't.
See how boring my life is? But I love that I got Mom's sense of humor. I can laugh at those things. And when mom finds out, she'll poke fun of me and laugh too. Just like she did yesterday at the park.
First mom and I went to this little Deli store a few blocks away yesterday. Mom told me to wait then waved at me to come in. I still have to wear a mask so people look at me a little funny when they see it.
I went inside and she introduced me to Lin Cheng and his wife. They're so adorable. Lin bowed and said, "Oh, you Kaycee. Nice meeting you. You no little girl. You bery big girl. Oh you have bad germs? We have tea to fix you, then you no need mask. Yes?"
Lin packed up a picnic basket full of food for us and we left them smiling and waving at the door. They were just too kute.
It was a pretty nice day, a little chilly yet but mom and I tested out the swings anyway. We walked a little ways until we found an open spot in the sun to sit on a blanket and just enjoy the view. It was gorgeous.
A little later I started taking off my shoes and socks. Mom told me it was too cold for that yet. But I wanted to feel the grass under my feet. Mom shook her head but I did it anyway.
I walked a few yards away then stopped. I groaned... ewwwww. Mom burst out laughing. Yah - just take a guess what happened. Dogs will be dogs.
I really need to listen to Mom.
"What's that you stepped in, Kaycee???"
3/14/2001 10.05.06 | ° i am the warrior °
KCommunity News
Yikes, I'm a little behind. Oh wait, that'd make me a butt wouldn't it? Haha. Ok, ok if the name fits - wear it. I'm not a butt though. *ahem*
Let me rephrase that. I've been out and about catching up on all my friends and family in the Weblog Community.
First let me say my deepest sympathies to Pam and Dale on the loss of your loved one. I'm sending them lots of hugs and prayers.
Congratulations to John on his SXSW Web award. That rocks!! Love ya John.
Also, I'm glad to see Halcyon was the emcee. Yay John. Hmm... I wonder what he wore? Can't wait to see the pics.
You know, he promised to let me raid his closet when I visit him. I've had my eye on the silver cowboy hat for almost 2 years now. I'm giving advance warning John, don't you hide that hat from me. I'll bring my black felt. You'll look smashing in it dahling. /wink John knows I love him.
I'm soooooo glad to hear everything is awesome with Patti and her dad. Just knowing they're doing great makes me really happy. I tip my KCap to you both. Sending more love and extreme sunshine to you.
Ack! Al: my *oh wise and kute one* is leaving CC and venturing out. Al, you rock! Does that mean I can't /pounce you when I visit San Diego?
I have to say Al, along with John (Halcyon), kept me afloat when the boat I was sailing on drifted into the stormy ocean. Al was the one who saw some sort of spark in a young, wildly exuberant 17 year old. He gave me a shot at learning what the phase Web Community meant. Course, I sorta kept him jumpin' but he gave me a long leash.
Al... /salute and you better be smiling!! I wish you the stars and the moon in your bright future. But, I'm still going to /pounce you. Love ya oh wise one!
Yo Tony! Have I told you lately that I love you? Wha? I haven't? Sheesh, my bad.
Is my song done yet?? Huh-huh? None of that *Kaycee Kaycee bo bassy, banana-fanana fo facey Kaycee* stuff either. /poke Maybe a ballad, love-song mixed with rock and roll. Whatcha think? I'm versatile. I'm also a drummer. You need me, you really do. Have I sold you yet?? Ok I'll keep trying. /wink wink Tony rocks!!
Hmm... umm Dad Al ok ok, I promise to study my animal science/sex education books more, or was the elephant thing a trick question? Haha. You funny. But I've been missing you. Don't make me send Dad Dan or Big Bubba Randy over there to straighten you out. I love those guys.
I love Amber. 'Nuff said.
I'm link happy today. D'oh. Thing is I'm lazy too and leaving out so many. Like Bruce and his awesome inspirations, Lisa and Todd becoming homeowners, Brooke, Carlos, Pat, Nancy, John, Jeff, Eric, Kristin, Chris... Go visit and say hey. They all rock!!
Heh. I'm windy today. I'll be back.
And hey! Is that a smile I see? Yah I thought so.
3/14/2001 08.42.08 | ° i am the warrior °
Tuesday, March 13, 2001I posted a new poem Tale of the Unshed Tear.
Now I'm going to make Mom take me to the park to play. She needs a lot of sunshine right now. And if you can spare a few prayers, that would be awesome too. Ciao.
3/13/2001 11.14.03 | ° i am the warrior °
Monday, March 12, 2001Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
~ Steven Wright *Poof*
*Cough Cough* I've got to do something about that entry... /wink
Hey hey, I made it back. Stop jumping around, you're making me dizzy. Oh wait, that's me doing all the jumping. Haha.
Ok, I'm trying to be funny this morning. I've noticed my sense of humor is still connected with the medical profession. I'm trying to change that - really I am.
I can't describe how I feel today. If you want, download All Around The World by ATC - it's sort of close.
I've discovered a few things. My body is still on hospital time, regular beds are definitely more comfortable, I still love wearing windpants and sweatshirts (oh man, the feel of that softness is soooo great), my sister can still make me laugh so hard it hurts, being caught in a traffic jam doesn't bother me, and it's just a whole new world out here calling my name.
I could probably write a book just on the events of my first weekend out of the hospital. If I had to pick descriptive words I'd go for: awesome, dazzling, alive, majestic, vibrant, cosmic, brilliant.
I noticed my mom's car still had that new scent. For a few seconds I sat in the passenger seat and just marveled at it all. Mom was really patient. She let me absorb my surroundings, never rushing me. Have I mentioned lately how much I love and adore her? She's the best.
I know you think my first day out was probably full of wild wonder but it wasn't really. I just felt so overwhelmed by everything. It's like the sun magnified all the colors and my senses picked up on all the tiny details.
A dog barking. The wind rushing by the car window. Cars honking. An airplane leaving a trail behind it. The bright blue sky. Flipping the radio from station to station. Laughing at how bad mom and I sound singing along, yet it was the best sound to hear.
So many things... so much more. I'm smiling. Are you?
3/12/2001 09.23.42 | ° i am the warrior °
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